Tag: airlines

My crazy cowboy boot experience at the airport


I was cleaning out the closet and I came across an old pair of cowboy boots. Cowboy boots! I only wore them once, years ago, and that day I was stopped by the FBI or airport security, not sure who they were.

This was way before 9/11 so flying wasn’t as troublesome as it is today. I was going to a wedding in Cleveland and I had to make one stop on the way – in Atlanta, I was coming from Miami.

I was at the Atlanta airport between flights reading the papers, the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, which were two separate newspapers at the time – today they are combined as one. Anyway, I can picture myself sitting with the paper up to my face reading.

Two guys in suits come up to me. I don’t remember the exact words, but they wanted to know what was in my boot! I don’t know if they followed me all the way from Miami or just spotted me in Atlanta, but they saw me reach into my boot a couple of times.

George Costanza and his bulging wallet.

I slowly reached in and took out my wallet! I was carrying my wallet in my boot. Back then I carried a full wallet, sort of like George Costanza’s wallet, and it was more comfortable to not sit on it on the planes.

I explained to them I was going to Cleveland and just holding the wallet there and whatever. They may have felt foolish, but they were being cautious and I understand that.

One of the guys said he wanted to look in my luggage, I guess to throw off their embarrassment. I told him it was on the plane headed to Cleveland with me. And that if they wanted, the could follow me to Cleveland and look at it there.

I remember their final words exactly, “Maybe we will.”

As they walked away, I shrunk back into my seat and went back to reading my newspapers, as all the people in that area of the airport stared at me.

The guys never did meet up with me in Cleveland and that was the end of that story. But that was the one and only time I wore those boots. Not because of the wallet incident, just because they were uncomfortable and I’m not a cowboy.

That was the first and last time I ever took a connecting flight. But I do have a connecting flight coming up in June for another wedding. So let’s see how this trip goes. I’ll let you know.

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The dreaded beep

American Airlines is trying out this new boarding system, to avoid the “gate lice” problem. You’ve seen it. I just saw it yesterday when I was flying – that’s people who rush to the gate to be the first on the plane, whether their group is called or not.

I fly first class a lot only because I use frequent flyer miles by paying for things for my business with credit cards that give me miles. So I am usually in Group 1.

But even if I think I am one of the first on the plane, there is always someone sitting in the aisle seat where I have to ask them to move so I can get to my window seat. Always.

I give them a dirty look, which they probably don’t notice, but I boycott them during the flight by not speaking to them. I find them to be real “gate lice” and “hogs.”

They say people do this to get the best overhead bin space, maybe that’s it, I usually travel with a small bag that fits under the seat, so I don’t feel the need to rush onto the plane for any reason.

Right now, the new American Airlines boarding system is in Albuquerque, NM and Tucson, Arizona. The system works like this – if your group is not called for boarding, a beep will go off – a loud beep, which will alert the gate agent and the rest of the travelers, I would guess, that alerts everyone that you are not supposed to be boarding the plane yet.

So if you are group 7 and trying to get in with group 1, that ain’t gonna work.

I love that. I find these gate lice people obnoxious as hell. They all rush to the gate to stand and block everyone else. I guess they don’t realize the plane isn’t gonna leave without them. But maybe it all comes down to the overhead bin space again. So maybe they have a point. Who knows.

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