life – Page 4

I felt naked; without my phone

I left the house without my phone the other day. Before I left I kept thinking I was forgetting something. I kept feeling my pockets. I had my car keys and fob, I had my money and credit cards. Why was I feeling like something wasn’t there?

Halfway to the store, I realized I didn’t have my phone. That’s a very weird and helpless feeling. To tell you the truth I hardly every answer the phone, so it wasn’t like I was expecting any phone calls. But still. My whole life is on that phone. I felt naked.

Makes you wonder how we did things in the past.

Before cell phones, I ran a whole business by hardly ever being there. I was a printing broker and I worked maybe an hour or two a day. I picked up jobs early and then ran to the office in the morning, then for a bit after that I went to printers to bring the jobs over and was done by 11:00 am or noon. After that I was out all day – mostly at the beach.

People couldn’t reach me. They had to leave a message on my answering machine. And they did. I literally printed school newspapers, all sorts of things for local hospitals, clubs, the American Cancer Society, books for many organizations, etc., all doing it within an hour or two a day.

Years later I had a couple of neighbors who were attorneys. They lived between Miami and New Hampshire. I asked her how they did it, you know, handling clients, going back and forth, which was a silly question coming from me, who worked an hour a day for so many years.

She told me, “Tom, as long as you answer your phone, they don’t care where you are.” This of course, was after we all had cell phones.

And I did that for years, but now, I don’t answer the phone. With my business account, I have a message that tells people to email me if they need something, and that’s been working out fine. As for personal calls, no one really leaves a message. When I see a missed call, I return the call or text them back when I have a chance.

When I got home from the store and checked my phone, there were no calls or emails or texts. The way I like it to be. Silence.

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Wrong place at the right time

I missed the eclipse! In person, that is, I watched it on tv.

I didn’t get any glasses and I asked around and no one I knew had any or any extras, so I just stayed in and didn’t attempt to look at the partial eclipse we had here in Miami. It was 45% here.

The neighborhood was quiet, I didn’t see or hear any neighbors out, so I guess it wasn’t a big thing here like it was in the total eclipse areas.

One thing I liked was seeing all the people watching the eclipse together, shouting and enjoying the moment together. It reminded me of July 4th, when I’m usually in NYC watching the fireworks over the river on July 4th. I’m with friends and/or family and surrounded by thousands of people in the city enjoying the same thing – cheering and oohing and ahhing while watching the fireworks, almost like the eclipse experience.

But I seem to be getting lazy as I get older. In the past I would have made an effort to get to one of the prime areas in the country. And I definitely would have had glasses to see the local version if I couldn’t make it to one of the prime areas.

Since the pandemic, I’ve been complacent. I’m not out and about doing things like I always did. There was a time in my life where I was at the beach almost daily; sometimes for an hour, other times all day. It was a thing I did. Now I don’t. And so many other things I used to do, I don’t do anymore. And it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I am a creature of habit. I easily get into habits and stick with them. The pandemic put me in a sedentary state and I’m still there.

My goal for the rest of 2024, and I guess forever, is to get out there and live, like I did most of my life.

I was always at the right place at the right time. One time in New Orleans I was walking down the street and there was the Olympic torch running by (with a person actually carrying it – there’s a cartoon in there somewhere), another time in traffic, I looked to my left, and there was Madonna driving next to me. Another time, I was an “accidental extra” in a tv show, just because I was standing at a filming location and they thought I was part of the paid background. I was always “there,” at the right place, at the right moment.

I’m going to strive for that again. I guess these days we would call it, “Instagrammable moments.”

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He wanted to read the NY Times

Yesterday I was walking into Publix and there was this guy sitting on the ground. He asked me for $5.00 to buy The New York Times of all things. He waved a couple of dollars, but he said he needed more. This was a new one – the NY Times – which intrigued me. I had a $10 and $20 bill, so I gave him the $10 bill.

I asked him how much the New York Times is, out of curiosity. I hadn’t bought it for years, and I’ve only purchased it in New York, never out of town. He said it was $6.00 for the daily. We started discussing the price of newspapers, and which ones we read. I found it interesting. He said he used to buy the Times for 50 cents and has read it since he’s been a boy.

I heard a priest one time say, “If you are going to give someone money with conditions attached, then don’t.” And I always remembered that. So I didn’t care what he used the money for, but I know it was the Times because when I left Publix a bit later, he was reading the paper.

When I mentioned this to friends, they had all sorts of shit to say, like, “He saw you coming,” or “You can get the paper free in the library,” which I had to remind him does not help the media company if we don’t support them.

I saw an image or story last week where a guy living on the street was seen reading the same book over and over. A passerby saw this and gave him his Kindle filled with books. One time in New York, I kept passing this girl sitting on the floor in Grand Central reading a book. Day after day, there she was reading a book, after awhile, she had another book. I felt sorry for her, but she seemed to give dirty/angry looks at people who looked at her, so I was hesitant to approach her.

The Powerball is up past $1 billion, it would be ironic if the Publix guy bought a ticket or two with the remaining money I gave him, and won!

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The rooster

Earlier this month I wrote about the rooster that crows very early in the morning. Well, I located it. Sort of.

I was driving out of the neighborhood yesterday and there, right at the entrance to our neighborhood was a rooster and a couple of chickens. The problem with this is that they were not on anyone’s property, they were in a neutral area, so I don’t know who they belong to.

I got out of the car and took this picture. I sent the picture to “311,” it’s a city service where you report infractions and things like potholes and illegal tree cuttings, and things like that. There is a section for “animals” and there is a sub section for chickens and roosters believe it or not.

I had asked some neighbors about it and no one has heard the rooster crowing, at about 4 am. It was almost as if I was hearing things. I’m not sure why the rooster crows before the sun comes up, but he does. So now I have proof.

Miami has a lot of roosters and chickens and Key West is known for them; they just wander around wild. We have a lot of peacocks, too. They make a loud screeching sound, but usually when it’s light out, not in the middle of the night. It’s funny, but it seems to make more sense hearing peacocks around here than roosters.

I have a friend in New York who calls Miami the land of palm trees and peacocks, and apparently roosters now, too.

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Wendy’s

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s about 4 pm. I went to the drive thru and I got ready to place my order. The girl says her spiel through the speaker, which I never understand, and I say, “I just want a taco salad, please.” No reply.

I call out, “Hello?” No answer. The speaker went dead.

So I drive up to the second window, the first one was closed, and I wait a couple of minutes for the car in front of me to leave. I get to the window and I say to the lady, “I’m not sure if my order went through.” And she says, “Yes, sorry about that, we had a shift change.”

So in the middle of me placing my order, it just all stops and goes dead? Not even a, “One moment please.” Nothing. They just cut me off in mid-sentence for a shift change?

I was going to say something, but I want to go back, so I kept my mouth shut, because no matter what I said, even in a joking manner, I would look like a complaining Karen. And it would be them against me, and as my mother always told me, “You don’t argue with people who are handling your food.”

At this same Wendy’s a few years back, this lazy girl at the window hands me my change, but it blows away. I think it was $5.oo. I couldn’t open the car door because it was against the wall so I said to the girl, “My change blew away, it’s under the car, can you give me another $5.00 and then come out and get the one that was under the car?” She tells me no.

I guess I said, “Stupid bitch,” it was one of those things where I thought I was thinking it, but I said it out loud, or at least under my breath. So she heard it. When I got to the second window to pick up my food, there she was going crazy, literally trying to jump out of the window to grab me! She was halfway out of the window! A couple of her co-workers had to hold her back. They threw the bag of food at me so I could make a speedy getaway. I didn’t go back for a a long time after that, hoping that when I did finally return, she would be gone, which ended up being the case.

I like the taco salad, so I keep going back.

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Avoiding the car dealership

I keep having issues with wheel sensors on my car. For years with my previous car, it was flat tires, now it seems to always be sensors.

I’ve never had a problem with this before, maybe it’s the new cars today. This will be the third wheel that needs the sensor replaced. My service writer told me last time that they are all eventually going to need replacing, but since the car is under warranty, they can only replace it when needed, they can’t do it as a precautionary thing.

I hate the whole dealership experience and going through the whole ordeal, but I have it down pat now.

I have the car towed over. It doesn’t cost me anything and the car goes to its destination and is out of my mind. I don’t have to sit in traffic, I don’t have to wait to speak to the service writer, I don’t have to deal with getting home, it just sort of having my car Ubered to the destination. I just have to pick it up when it’s ready. Out of sight, out of mind. I don’t have to think about it while the sausage is being made.

Some drawbacks – the other day it took three hours for the tow truck driver to arrive, so if I was stuck in the middle of the expressway or something, that would not be a good thing. And two – for the second time, I asked for a flatbed tow truck and was assured they only used flatbeds, which was not true, because for the last two times, they sent the wheel lift type, where the back wheels are on the road. And one more thing, I just hand my keys to a total stranger in my front yard and wave as he drives off with the car, just because he showed up in a tow truck. I did a similar cartoon like that years ago.

Last time they took a week just to get to work on the car, which was a fast fix when they finally got to it. They are that busy at the dealership, which doesn’t bode well for the car company. But they gave me a loaner, which I loved more than my own car and I was hesitant to return the loaner after a week!

But the good part is that I drive out with all zeros on the invoice. I’ve never gone to a dealership and not left with a big bill, but since it’s all covered under warranty, it’s a pleasure to pick up the car and leave and I usually tell them, “Hope I never have to see you again.” And they laugh, I laugh, and of course some months later I am back again with something or other.

It could be worse, I caught the problem in my own driveway. Unlike Jlo and Affleck who recently found out that the cars don’t have spares these days. I found that out not long ago myself. And recently we had that car blow up in our front yard, so my problem isn’t really an issue in the scheme of things.

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The haunting

I wasn’t sure if today’s cartoon would be understood by many people. But it makes me laugh.

My father used to always say, “Stop haunting me!” when we were kids if we nagged him about something. It was just a common expression around our house, I guess we “haunted him” a lot, because I remember him saying this often.

I guess there are so many old expressions that will soon be extinct. It sort of reminds me of sounds that will soon be extinct, like the sound of a ringing telephone or a typewriter bell.

I sometimes think of the opposite – of things that we hear today that maybe 100 years ago or so we would never hear – like a plane flying by, or a lawnmower, or any type of motor. If you go outside and listen, you’ll hear all these sounds which seem second nature. Freeways are loud, “Can someone turn down the freeway?” asks cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz, as he painted a mural that says, “The future is emission free!”

But imagine 100 years ago when a person would go outside and maybe just hear the clopping of horse feet on the pavement and maybe that’s it!

We have a construction site across the way, and the sound of that non-stop “beep, beep, beep,” of trucks and equipment backing up, is maddening. One of my neighbors called me one day to see if I could do anything about the sound, it was driving him nuts. “What could I do?” I asked him. “You know people, call someone!” was his reply.

I didn’t know who the call, so the sound goes on and on Monday thru Friday. It’s quiet on weekends.

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Checking the gifts

Have you ever done this? Or looked up the price of gifts you may have received online?

I got this cartoon idea because I was checking the price of something I bought and it just came to me. It wasn’t a gift. I bought a new mattress and went online to check to see if I got a good price after the fact. It was on sale at Macy’s. I did get a good price.

I’ve done this with a lot of things. After I bought my car a few years ago, I went online and checked the price of the car to see if I did the right thing. I bought a long overcoat recently, a trench coat. I checked that price, too; after the fact.

I did check the price of these things ahead of time, but I wanted to be just check afterwards, too. I’m not sure why, as I wouldn’t be returning anything, but I just get curious that way. I do check reviews ahead of time when buying things online. It’s funny, an item could have 1000 five star reviews, but I dwell on the one negative review and may not purchase the item because of that.

I do that with hotels. If someone leaves one bad review, something stupid, like the elevator noise kept them up at night, I’ll pass up that hotel and go to the next one.

But to be honest, I’ve never ever checked the price of a gift, or looked up ratings or reviews of a gift. After all, you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth. There’s a cartoon in there somewhere.

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The name game

This actually happened. Not the kneeling part, but the barista calling out, “Neil! Neil!” for his coffee. Of course my mind got to working when I heard that and I came up with this cartoon.

One time in Starbucks in NYC, there were four of us in there waiting for our orders. It was about 8:00 pm and they were getting ready to close down. All four of us customers were men.

They called out, “Tom!” And I went to pick up the order, but it was for another Tom who was there. And the same thing happened a couple of other times – there were four Toms in Starbucks waiting for our orders. No other customers in there, just the four Toms.

That was some sort of Universe message or something. Not sure what but I’m sure that will never happened again anywhere.

Every time I pass that particular Starbucks at 26th and Broadway, I think of that Tom incident.

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“Annoying photos

A friend posted this on Facebook: “Annoying in the moment but everyone is grateful afterwards.”

She was referring to a quote: “Take pictures of everything and everyone. I don’t care who I annoy by constantly taking pictures, in the end they will be all we have left. Every photo is a memory – capture it.”

I had to laugh because for years I would take pictures of everything – with a camera. This was before cellphones. So it was with an actual small camera that I carried around.

I would take pictures of us on the subway or on a bus, or in the middle of the street and one of my cousins, who I was always with, would get embarrassed and annoyed. He would always tell me to stop it, but in the end, he would always ask for a copy of the picture(s).

Every once in awhile he brings that up and we laugh.

Even today, with my cellphone I still embarrass people at times, even though everyone is constantly taking pictures all the time. I’ll say to a stranger who we ask to take our picture if they mind, “We are from Kansas, we aren’t used to all this city stuff,” I’ll say. I think the person knows I’m joking.

I read once that in this age of non-stop picture taking, we are losing something that in the old days was a part of it all – the scrapped pictures – which have a life of their own. But these days I assume most of us take a bunch of pictures and only save the ones we like, deleting the ones we don’t like, losing those scrapped, interesting pictures for good probably.

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