No shift, Sherlock

I didn’t think people would get today’s cartoon, but I’ve been living by Jason Chatfield‘s credo – “Don’t curate your art to what gets likes. Curate it to what you like.” So I did and people do get it. At last count, there over 2000 shares on Facebook!

Originally I did this cartoon years ago and it was Watson handing Sherlock a dress, which is called a “shift,” which I remember from my grandmother for some reason, she must have used that word. And he says, “No shift Sherlock,” handing the shift back to Sherlock, and the explanation is, “Watson does not like this week’s disguise.”

But I didn’t think people would understand that “shift” is a dress. According to a blog called Who, What Wear, “A shift dress refers to a short dress that hangs straight down from the shoulders with clean, simple lines.” But who knew except my grandma and me.

He protests too much

I just left my car for service early this morning – a tune up, Schedule A service.

I took Uber home. I see they charge a booking fee now on top of the regular fee. Strange. How else would I get them, wave them down to save on the booking fee? Just add that fee to the cost of the ride rather than nickle and dime people, right?

A friend texted me and asked me to meet him for breakfast. I had breakfast early this morning, about 7 am, so I didn’t want to go to breakfast, but also, I am incapacitated until the car is done later. So I’m stuck at home, although I guess I could have taken an Uber to meet him.

He could have picked me up you say? No, he can’t, because in Miami, a car-based city, he doesn’t have car. He bikes it all over. He is an older guy, in his 70s and to his credit, he rides miles a day – sometimes as much as 60 miles a day!

When I told him I left the car for service, his reply was, “I’m so glad I don’t have a car.” Which makes me think he wishes he had a car, because why say such a thing? We all chauffeur him around when he can’t take his bike places.

And he is totally against social media, too.. I think it’s because he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand. He puts down social media daily. He sends me articles constantly on how bad it is, how they are stealing our personal info, etc. etc.

Rather than just not say anything, he likes to put social media down, like he does my car or anyone’s car – because he doesn’t have a car.

Ironically, he used to work for the city and he had a city car and he would bring the city car home, which maybe was not allowed, because quite a few years back he was written about in the newspaper and blogs and scrutinized about using the company car for person reasons. So maybe that’s why he has an aversion to cars. Although he has had his own car after that situation and he did pick me up many times to go out and hang out.

He did tell me yesterday that the best thing he ever did was give up his car and use his bike, which I can believe. I told him I missed the gym and he suggested I get a bike, but I miss the free weights, not cardio. So a bike will do me no good in that regard.

He has a new bike now, it folds up. It looks so silly when we are at lunch or wherever, because it looks like a wheelchair or something folded up beside him, then he unfolds it and rides off.

My mechanic

I had a Seinfeld moment with my mechanic. No, it wasn’t like the one with Jerry’s car and mechanic, it was like the one with the barber.

My mechanic found a different size lug nut on my wheels. I had gone for new tires. He asked why it was different than the rest. I told him that he and his brother are the only two people who work on my car. I don’t know if he believed me.

It was like when Jerry changed barbers and felt guilty about it. Only I didn’t change mechanics, in fact, I can go get tires at a tire place, but I go to this guy for everything, even tires.

We then realized it was the small lug nut that is used for the spare tire. It must have been mixed up one time when I had the spare on and then changed back to the regular tire.

I told him it was like the Seinfeld episode with the barber. He knew what I was talking about and he laughed.

My mechanics don’t like how I treat the car, I just put gas in it and go. They say I run it into the ground, but I told them that when I get a new car one day, I’ll have to use the dealership because the car will be under contract.

For years I leased cars, but didn’t like having to turn them in every three years, so I bought this last car and I just keep it and keep it, it runs great. It’s a bit old, but runs great, thanks to my mechanics.

Flat tire

I woke up to another flat tire the other morning. I’m always getting flats with my current car. I broke rims, too, in the past – with my current car. I have a portable pump for this reason, how many of you have a portable pump? I get good use out of it too. I am on the second one! The car has outlasted the pumps.

My tire pump at work.

I know I need tires and that is part of the problem, but I’ve been putting it off because any day now I’m due for scheduled service – you know, Schedule A or Schedule B. I don’t know which one, or I would bring the car in early and just get it all done. But I have to wait for the car to tell me which service I need I can’t ask my mechanic, because they do things the old fashioned way, which I like. They basically write your bill on the back of a paper bag. Well, not exactly and I was surprised to see they accept Apple Pay, but they aren’t the type to keep notes or any computer records. And in a way, I like that.

It’s a little bit of what’s left of the old days. Their garage is sort of like Wally’s on the Andy Griffith Show. When I need service, I bring the car early, before the garage is even open, and I leave the keys with the gas station attendant and when the owner/mechanic gets in, he calls me and I tell him what the problem is.

Years ago, I had a Camaro, that was new, yet was always in the shop. The gas station was down the block, so I would bring it or have it towed in late at night and leave it in the back of the station, in the morning, Mike, the owner would call me and we would go from there.

For years I leased cars and there really weren’t problems. I’m noticing a common denominator now. The cars I owned were always in the shop – the leased cars, never. Of course the leased cars were turned in every three years.

Both gas station owners complained about my cars but both wanted them. One owner bought my Camaro years ago and this current one always asks to buy my current car. Go figure.

I am going to go back to leasing cars when I get rid of my current one. There’s a lesson there.