tomversation

Spring cleaning

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So I’m getting ready for the big move. No, I haven’t put my place up for sale yet and I haven’t been house hunting, but I have been cleaning out closets and draws, trying to lighten the load by getting rid of things I don’t need. Also, it’s something to do while cooped up at home.

I’m donating them.

Look at this book, very interesting, ended up at the top of the pile.

I never read it. I didn’t read most of these books. For a few years, I was receiving books daily, sometimes three to four books a day. They were coming from publishers who wanted me to review their books! I don’t know how I got on the lists, but all the big publishers sent me books – Doubleday, Random House, Simon & Schuster, etc. I didn’t know how to get off the lists so I kept receiving them and one day after maybe three or four years it stopped.

They are filling up the house. It’s time to get rid of them. Most books these days I read on Kindle. But to be honest, if I wasn’t planning on moving, I would keep them. It seems like all the people in the know have lots of books!

Our Boarding House

One of my all time favorite comic panels is Our Boarding House. I don’t know when I became aware of it but I’ve always loved it.

It was created by cartoonist Gene Ahern in 1921 and lasted until 1984 and most likely I remember the later ones, but lately I have been enjoying the ones from the 1920s which are published on Facebook daily and they are all done by Ahern, who passed the strip on to another cartoonist in 1936, so the ones below from 1927 are the best and in his prime.

I have always loved single panel comics and this one has a lot of text, which normally I don’t like, but Ahern has a way with words. The expressions he uses and the story line that continues each day in one single panel is something I really enjoy. Major Hoople’s nonsense at the boarding house run by his wife, is the basic premise of the panel.

Here are a few samples.

It’s like living in the wilderness

There are a couple of Alaska-based shows that I like, “Railroad Alaska” “The Last Alaskans,” and “Life Below Zero.” All based on the solitude of Alaska.

Living in solitude myself these last few weeks is agreeing with me. I’m not anti-social, but I am a loner.

These tv shows are about people living out in the Alaskan wilderness. I’ve also watched “Alaskan Bush People,” and other shows and they all are the same – survival in the wilderness.

Alaska Railroad is one of my favorites. It’s about two trains that go from south to north each day and you see the adventures along the way. One train carries cargo – building supplies, tractors, big items for the oil fields, etc. and the other train carries passengers.

The passengers aren’t at train stations, they literally flag the train down in the snow. And the people don’t ever seem to live near the train tracks; many walk miles to get to the train and then they head to get supplies or for doctor visits and things like that.

Most adventures happen along the way without the trains – where their are avalanches or earthquakes or things that would harm the trains and the tracks and crews have to fix the problems before the trains arrive. It’s really good.

The Last Alaskans is about people who live in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska, which is in the northeast corner of the state. The refuge is the size of South Carolina and there are only seven cabins permitted. Eventually, the people will have to leave and the whole place will be wilderness after the last child of the current lease holders dies. The show tells their stories.

And Life Below Zero is about people surviving all around the state, you see how they spend their daily lives surviving in the wilderness.

I only bring up these shows because I feel as if I am living like that now. I’m just basically living off the land or on what Instacart or Amazon bring me. They never get the orders right, so I eat what I get. It’s an adventure, you adapt like they do in the Alaskan wilderness. Well, sort of. Of course, I am in Florida and not in the snowy forest and I don’t have to leave the house and trudge anywhere or hunt for food. So basically I’m not really living in the wilderness, but it feels like it sometimes – the comfortable parts, where I don’t have to work for my food and shelter. And hoping for toilet paper to be in one of the deliveries (I finally go it after trying for weeks).

There is another show called The Deadliest Catch. It’s about fishing in rough Alaskan waters I don’t watch that but I had a friend who did – a friend named Alex who watched the show and then took off for Alaska to work on the boats! He was a waiter at a local restaurant, one day he just told me he was taking off to work on the fishing boats in Alaska that he saw on tv, and that was that, it was about eight or 10 years ago. Every once in awhile at the beginning I would get a butt dialed call from him – I would hear shuffling and scraping and movement in the background, but no talking and I would imagine that all that scraping and shuffling was him reeling in lots of seafood. I haven’t received a call in years. Hope he is ok.

Lady Gaga announced ‘One World’ concert

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I was watching Morning Joe yesterday and there was Lady Gaga talking about a concert that will be on MSNBC Saturday, April 18, the “One World: Together at Home” concert, a sort of Live Aid, but it’s not a fundraiser, it’s just a night of entertainment to get everyone’s mind off our current situation.

What made me laugh was her background. I had written about how everyone has such interesting homes, many with bookshelves, and one of the richest, most famous women in the world has this plain white background, with a desk lamp. While she is all that when on the stage, she is just one of us in “real life.” I had seen others on tv with their awards in the background, you know, an actual shelf or grammys or emmys or whatever, but not Gaga. Love that about her.

Here she is on YouTube, announcing the concert – same background.

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Alone naturally

I’m enjoying the shelter in place and solitude. I think I could live alone in a cabin in the mountains for long periods of time. These days I don’t see another person for days and I like it.

I wake up in the morning and think, “What do I have to do today?” And then I remember – Nothing! There is nothing I have to do today! Not a damn thing. At the moment, I don’t have any responsibilities. If I do, I can’t get them done. It’s a nice feeling.

I have been reading how the earth is resetting, the oceans and waterways are cleaner, the air is cleaner, there is not a lot of gas or carbon emissions or fossil fuels spreading around. The world is renewing.

These two famous quotes/comics are exactly my sentiments. But I am conscious of the fact that there is no FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. Since no one is out doing anything, I don’t feel like I have to be out there either.

Show me the money!

So maybe I should have waited before mentioning the PPP debacle yesterday, or maybe it helped. It seems like after filling out dozens of forms of all sorts, I finally received a notification from Chase as you can see below. So I’m glad to know the application made it through. Now I wait.

I have been keeping busy. I sent a few cartoons to The New Yorker and I sent a few to Readers Digest yesterday. Some years ago I had a lot of comics published in various magazines, I’m going to start submitting again.

In the past I sold a lot of cartoons to a magazine called “American Life” or something like that. After years of them publishing, and paying me well, I learned that they were owned by American Tobacco. That didn’t sit well with me.

And years ago I submitted a bunch of my comics to the National Enquirer, they loved the work but didn’t like the fact that I used a computer to shade some of the work, only I didn’t use a computer, I used Ben Day by hand and to think that now, everything is done by computer – shading, coloring, even drawing.

chase — So at least I know they received my application

Job search

I work for myself and there is not any money coming in, so I filled out the unemployment form online. I have not collected unemployment since I was 16 and worked at Sears.

Basically you don’t have to fill out much on the forms, yet you do. They want a resume and things like that even though they know this is temporary and caused by the caronavirus. You are also asked to job search.

So I filled in all the necessary stuff. Keep in mind I am a cartoonist and marketer, I’ve been in the printing and marketing business most of my adult life. Of course my goal now is to cartoon full time, but that’s another story.

Anyway, I received job offers. Here is one:

It’s for a full time VP Technical Management position. The job requires:

1) Manage a growing fleet of over 240 aircraft, and analyze fleet activity to ensure that fleets are being utilized appropriately.

2) Predict the operational lifespan of aircraft components to know when a specific component of an aircraft is about to deteriorate and/or enter into failure mode before the operator does.

3) Maintain Maintenance Reserve and End-of-Lease cash flow predictions.

4) Automate any/all processes by employing Machine Learning/Artificial Intelligence/Natural Language Processing where possible.

5) Up to 10% Travel Required.

There are actually 30 things on the list.

First off, if this is how they randomly hire people to manage planes, I don’t think anyone should feel comfortable flying. The good part about this job is that I would only have to travel 10% of the time, on the unsafe fleet that I would manage.

And to manage the end-of-lease cash flow predictions? If I could manage money, I wouldn’t be applying for unemployment.

I wonder how many people get jobs like this that are not qualified. You know, fake it till you make it, only you never make it and are always faking it.

I had this friend named Morton, he was afraid of his own shadow – always afraid of getting new jobs, trying new things. I told him that most people don’t have a clue what they are doing – they just show up for work and do whatever it is they do.

For many years I would bid on large printing jobs and after I got the job I would figure out how to do it later. It always worked out. I provided a top class job at a good price, but I learned on the job with each print job I received. The customer was happy, I was happy.

I filled out forms for the PPP, the Paycheck Protection Program. I read that most people are having problems getting the loan. My bank, the one where I have had my business account for many years, Chase, turned me down right away – but I’m hoping it was just the system acting up, as no one had time to look over the form. Or did I check one wrong box that disqualified me? The government is guaranteeing this, is it Chase’s decision to make?

It should be an easy process – how many years have I been with the bank? How many accounts do I have with them? Have I ever been late or defaulted or been overdrawn, including my house mortgage? No? Never? Then give me the freaking loan.

I think I may know how to get to Chase Bank. A few years back I wrote a story in the Huffington Post about a bad experience I had with them. They saw it and I was hounded by Chase for months – they called me on my house and cell phones, they emailed me, they sent snail mail – concerned about the bad press. Maybe I should do that again. Hmmm.

I fear that those trillions of dollars are going into the wrong hands – going to people connected to the White House, people who don’t need it.

Isn’t it ironic?

house-arrest I was talking to my cousin in New York and I told him I know how Sam (not real name) feels now. Sam is a guy who has been under house arrest for many years.

“Oh, that’s the funny part,” my cousin tells me. After all these years, his time is up, he is not under house arrest anymore!” But he is! Where can he go now?

Sort of reminds me of an Alanis Morissette song.

I met Sam a couple of times – at a bar, at happy hour, where there were many of us. My cousin would tell me, “Don’t look him in the eye, don’t joke with him, he is very volatile and could explode at any second!”

One time my cousin showed me an article in The NY Post where there was a picture of Sam being taken from his house by the feds in the middle in the night. It explained why Sam was under arrest – he beat up this guy, he gambled, he sold booze, he robbed a bank, he stole a car, he sold things that had “fallen off a truck,” he sold drugs and prostitutes, he hung with a shady crowd, etc, etc. he did everything except murder. You get it, he was a step down from Tony Soprano.

Anyway, my cousin would visit Sam at his NYC apartment once in awhile over the years, dreading each time he was “summoned,” but he would go with another friend of Sams. Now I guess they are all free and when the bars and restaurants are open again, they can hang out like they always did.

By the way, my cousin is an honest person who does an honest day’s work. In New York you are sort of thrown in with people by circumstances – you hang out with a buddy at bar, he invited a buddy who invites someone and a guy comes over from a nearby table and becomes part of the group and so on. I was part of that mix for many years, but I got tired of it and got out. But these are all great people with one virus in the crowd. See how I did that?

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The real super heroes

A few years ago I was in the hospital for eight days and I got such an appreciation for everyone who worked there, especially the nurses. While the doctors were in and out sparingly, the nurses did everything, every day. But the whole hospital staff were heroes, they were angels to me, even down to the guy who changed the light bulb.

They all treated me with love and respect and you can imagine now how extra special all of these people are. They are there to help others. Every day of their lives. That’s their calling.

I vowed to volunteer at the hospital, because even the volunteers were wonderful to me. But I never did it. I’m not sure why, it’s so easy, the hospital is right next door, I can walk over.

My cousin volunteers at a hospital in New York, she does something there every Saturday. I thought she volunteered at the Elmhurst Hospital that they keep talking about on the news – ground zero for caronavirus in our country. She lives near there, but she is not at that hospital, but another cousin is – he is a cop in NY, that’s his precinct. He is at that hospital three days a week. I worry about them, I’m close to my cousins, they are like brothers and sisters to me.

Of course the hospital workers are not the only super heroes out there today – the police, the fire departments, the transit workers, all the service workers, all the people who put their lives on the line by simply leaving the house in the day are the super heroes including the grocery store workers, the teachers, etc.

I love the memes I see these days with Batman and Superman and all the superheros saluting the healthcare workers.

And the people stayed home

peace

And people stayed at home
And read books
And listened
And they rested
And did exercises
And made art and played
And learned new ways of being
And stopped and listened more deeply
Someone meditated, someone prayed
Someone met their shadow
And people began to think differently
And people healed.

And in the absence of people who
Lived in ignorant ways
Dangerous, meaningless and heartless,
The earth also began to heal
And when the danger ended and
People found themselves
They grieved for the dead
And made new choices
And dreamed of new visions
And created new ways of living
And completely healed the earth
Just as they were healed.

– Kitty O’Meara
More on Kitty and the poem here.

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