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Filming our reality show

We’ve have painters here, painting our condo building for over a month now. They’ll probably be here for another month. They’re doing a wonderful job, but it’s almost like living on a reality show.

What I mean is, they are everywhere, but we sort of ignore them. I mean we say, “Hello,” and “Goodbye” and we buy them coffee and snacks and things, but during the day, they are all around us and we just go on about our business with them sort of in our faces.

One day they are out on my balcony and another day up on a lift outside my bedroom window. And I just go about my business as does the rest of the residents in our small building.

Everyone knows everyone and we all know the painters, but still, they are not one of us – they are the camera men and the sound men and the lighting men, “shooting the show.”

It’s an odd thing. Odd feeling. As I sit here typing this, one guy is outside the window sort of looking in. He’s not really looking in, but I feel as if he is – filming me for the reality show.

Every time you turn around, there they are – with their imaginary camera in your face, staring at you. At least it feels like that. No privacy when they are literally hanging right outside your window.

The painters know our schedules and all our little quirks. I’m sure they know I would rather park in my regular parking space than out on the street, as many neighbors are doing. They covered my car with a drop cloth the other day so I didn’t have to move it. They didn’t ask, they just knew.

They know when I leave for lunch, I usually come back with coffee for them – they like Cuban coffee, I get them a double colada, a doble, and I usually buy them doughnuts and other stuff.

I like them all. They are all friendly and polite and nice guys. And they are doing a wonderful job, they clean up after themselves and are always on time, but I can’t wait for the day they yell, “CUT!” and filming of the reality show is over.

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O Christmas tree

I’ll be putting up the Christmas tree over the weekend.

I know, I know. Too early.

The thing is I am going to NY for a couple of weeks and when I get home, it will be the first week of December, so I like to just have it up so I don’t feel rushed and have to deal with it then.

I don’t light it up until December. Right now I’ll just have it up and decorated. Ready to go.

One year, I had the tree up in October! It wasn’t decorated.

What happened was, my friend Michael was visiting from NY and the spare room he was sleeping in, is used as storage for the tree, which of course, is artificial, so to make room, I dragged the tree out and stood it up in the living room. That’s it. It was not decorated or lit or anything like that. It just stood there. Naked.

I always had a real tree. I would throw it in the back of my convertible and lug it home.

One year I saw a nice tree in a big box store and thought I would get it and use it for a year or two and then go back to real trees, but it’s been so many years now and I still use the artificial tree. It’s so easy – just pull it out and it’s up. No lugging real trees in and out. To dump the real trees, I would throw them off the balcony, making sure no one was below. Then I would just drag it to the street.

When we were cleaning my parents’ house out this year, I was hoping to find the old Christmas ornaments from years past – from when we were kids and before; vintage stuff. But there was nothing old – just new ornaments. I’m guessing the old ones were ruined years ago in a hurricane, and I never paid attention to what was on the tree all these years, which obviously was new things which took their place.

When we were kids, I mean very little, we would put the tree up (real tree) a couple of weeks before Christmas. Now it seems people have trees up right after Halloween. I see some of the lots in the neighborhood at churches and clubs, already have their tents up with trees – probably to be sold out before Thanksgiving.

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The new washer/dryer

This 1957 cartoon was posted on Mike Lynch’s blog the other day. It’s by cartoonist Tom Hudson.

It reminded me of my new GE washer/dryer, which started out at a reasonable price and ended up being way over priced.

I have a very small space for the washer/dryer in my condo unit so I am limited as to what I can get. I found one at Best Buy. It was delivered, but it didn’t fit in the space all the way, it was sticking out a bit. The delivery guys who installed it blamed the vent in back, but the previous unit had the same dimensions and vent and fit in fine for all these years.

I tipped them $40.00 ($20.00 each) and they left.

I decided to live with it. Only it started making strange grinding noises, so I went back to Best Buy and managed to find the washer/dryer I liked to begin with. It’s ventless, so there is no worry about the size of the vent in back. We swapped out the units.

I didn’t get the unit I liked to begin with because I didn’t know I had two plus behind the washer/dryer, but when the guys were installing the first unit, I saw I had both – 110 and 220. So now I could get the washer/dryer I liked, an LC brand. The first unit delivered only used the 220 socket.

The new washer/dryer was delivered and installed, but then the delivery/installation guys told me the washer didn’t work! They said the 110 socket was not working, where the 220 for the dryer was working fine. I was told to get an electrician to check the breaker.

I tipped these two guys $40.00 ($20.00) each and they left.

By now, the original $1400.00 unit cost me another $940.00 for the new LC unit and the $80.00 for the tips for the drivers – $2420.00 total.

Now for the electrician – another $120.00 – for nothing. Because it turns out the 110 electrical socket was working fine. The installers just must have had the plug in there too loosely.

So another $120.00 for a total of $2540.00 for my original $1400 unit.

But I like the new washer/dryer and I’ve been happy with it. And contrary to reports on ventless dryers not drying the clothing fully, that’s a myth, because mine come out great. The towels come out dry and fluffy, too.

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My youth in a box

My brothers and I have been cleaning out my parents’ house, but it is slow going. We would go one Saturday, work a few hours and leave, but then we wouldn’t return for another week or two because things came up. But we are almost down to the wire.

Last weekend, I finally got most of the things out of my old closet in my old room. After weeks of cleaning the room out I found one box that was a treasure trove of my life. It was the last thing left in the closet after I went through everything else. It was quite large, sitting at the back of the closet and it contained a hodgepodge of things. There were old newspapers – ones I saved with news stories I thought were interesting and school newspapers I had printed, when I handled that with my printing business.

But there were lots of newspapers and magazines that I saved because my cartoons were in them. I used to do cartoons for local publications when I was in high school and college. I had forgotten about that. Some of them are excellent. I also had a lot of comic strips I was working on as a kid, they are not bad either.

I threw out a lot of the excess newspapers that weren’t needed, but I’ll show you some of the cartoons I had published and the comic strips I was working on when I get a chance. I noticed that the newspapers I had saved were of tragedies, like the Miami Herald with stories of 9/11 and Hurricane Andrew – things I would rather forget. Those I dumped. I didn’t need to revisit those times.

I found awards in the box, and diplomas from high school and college and lots of boy scout stuff – awards, badges, things like that. I also found letters – letters and post cards that friends sent me so many years ago. And I found random photos of myself and my family and friends. And everything brought back memories. There were lots of old computer parts and old computer programs from the early days of PC’s.

I worked at a local newspaper at one point and I sold ads as well as working in production putting the paper together for print. I drew a lot of things for them back then – I drew political cartoons but also I did drawings for advertisements that ran in the paper. I can see I really put a lot of time into them.

I found a color aid pack which I used in college. I still don’t understand the point of it for my classes after all these years, but I remember I couldn’t find it at the time and I needed it. My father ended up finding it in downtown Miami somewhere. It was expensive I remember, and I think we used it once or twice in class to cut out colors for something. Literally I used one or two color swatches from the whole packet.

I remember in one art class we used magazines to cut out colors from the printed images and we recreated famous art from that, gluing the odd shaped pieces into art. I did a small image of Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon. I’m hoping to find it as I clean out my old room, I’ve been looking for it all these years. I’d like to frame the little thing.

My recreation was only 3″ x 3″ and I remember seeing the original for the first time – it’s huge, it blew me away at the size after seeing the small piece I created so long ago. Les Demoiselles d’Avignon seems so large to me and my favorite, Starry Night is so small. Both at MOMA – worth the trip.

Anyway, I’ll show you some of the cartoons and things I found when I sort them out and hopefully some other things.

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The conflagration

A couple of nights ago, about 2:30 am, as usual, neighborhood was dead quiet. All of a sudden, we hear loud booms! Sounded like bombs going off. I thought that was what it was because the houses and buildings shook. And the booms were so loud.

I heard voices and then assumed it was kids with fireworks which happens once in awhile, but the booms got louder and scarier. I then thought it was kids throwing bombs. What else could it be?

I looked outside the window and saw nothing but neighbor across the street was screaming, which made it worse. She then started yelling “Fire! Fire!” And when I looked out the window again, the street started to go in flames. Literally. Suddenly dark black smoke filled the sky and the flames grew to about 25 feet high and started spreading along the street as it grew bigger.

I was sure they were going to reach the electrical wires and travel from house to house. Looking at it all this the next morning, I was amazed that didn’t happen. Maybe the wires are fire proof.

What next, I thought? More of this? I was sure we were being bombed. More and more explosions happened. One of my neighbors told me that her synagogue has 24 hour watch due to problems in the Mideast. TV news reported about localized antisemitic attacks and I thought perhaps this was an attack against someone who lived in the neighborhood. But then I just thought it had to be kids on bikes or cars with homemade bombs just randomly throwing them.

The fire department arrived very quickly and attacked the fire, which relieved me. The police arrived, too, and I thought, perhaps they can find the culprits and stop them tonight.

I went out on the balcony to see, but the sky was black from all the smoke which grew worse as the killed the fire. Was it toxic? Was it dangerous?

I started to think of the people in Israel, Gaza and Ukraine. This was a mini thing, but it was scary as hell. Random people bombing our homes? Invisible people at this point.

As soon as the fire department got it all under control, I was relieved to see it was two cars that were involved and not what I had suspected. One car blew up and caught fire. As it turned the corner, it just started popping and exploding, sounding like bombs. Each explosion caused the conflagration. Each explosion was louder and louder.

It was very close to another car, one of my neighbor’s cars, and it caused that car to catch fire because it all happened at that car’s gas tank.

It ended up being the newspaper delivery people’s car. The man and woman who deliver the Miami Herald. They were in the car driving around the bend delivering papers when their car exploded which caused the fire and all the chaos! Luckily they got out in time.

Neighbors all ran down but I watched from upstairs. I was still shaken thinking it was something else, which luckily, it wasn’t.

The fire was put out, the fire department and police left, the two cars were towed away and just a big black area in the street is all that is left. Glad that everyone is safe and the fire didn’t spread to the whole neighborhood.

This cartoon running today is weird and maybe a foreshadowing. The Herald lady wasn’t delivering my Herald. I unsubscribed the delivery part and I subscribe to it online and read the eEdition daily. So far no word of our incident in the Herald.

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Shades of Frannie

This Strange Brew cartoon by John Deering came at a perfect time. We were recently talking about updates we need to do at our condo building and I was talking to the neighbors about things we had done in the past – so many years ago.

There was one neighbor who was a bully. She was a young wife, in her mid 20s, about 4’5″ tall or smaller, 90 lbs . wet, and married to a guy who was on the board. Let’s call her Frannie. She was from Italy, so this little dynamo talked with a thick Italian accent, bullying her way around the building.

She decided what color to paint the building, which tiles to use for the pool renovation, what the gardening should look like, which lights should replace the ones we had around the building and so on.

The “shades of white” cartoon reminded me that one day these guys showed up to show us shades of something – I think it might have been for an awning in the front of the building, it might have been tiles, I can’t remember.

I do remember telling them, “Let me call Frannie to look at these.” I didn’t dare make a decision without her, even though I was president of the board. As she was coming down to meet us, I told the guys, “See these three brochures you are showing us? All these choices? Frannie is going to take her time, go through every color and choice and then ask you if you have another catalog or brochure for her to look at.”

And right on cue, that’s what happened, after carefully looking it all over while we all remained silent and waited, that’s just what she did, she asked them if they had another brochure to look at.

We all bust out laughing and to this day, I don’t know if she know why.

Frannie and her husband were terrible neighbors. They moved some years back and rented their condo unit ever since. Over the years they have rented to awful people. Not one decent person, including the current tenant. I have to tell you some time about the one tenant who picked up stray dogs off the street and how two got into my apartment and practically destroyed everything in the living room.

One totally wild mongrel was jumping around like a kangaroo, he broke so many things in his way. I still have his dirty footprints on my white leather sofa to remind myself of that nightmare incident. They are covered by a pillow, but they are still there. It’s a conversation piece.

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Memories

My parents passed away – my Dad last September and my Mom the October before that. The house is still sitting as it was left. I’m not sure what it taking us so long to clean it out. Too many memories maybe, maybe too big of a job. There is 50 years worth of stuff in that house. 50 years this month.

I decided to start going a couple of days a week and try to make a dent. I started with my old room. I’m amazed that so much of my old art from when I was a kid and also from high school and college is still there. Not that anyone would dispose of it, but 30 years ago, Hurricane Andrew struck and the house was inundated with water. There was so much water in the house that the refrigerator was on its side. It was lifted up and thrown over! I guess maybe four feet of water or more was in the house.

The art was on the top shelf of the closet, I’m luckily it survived. Everything below that is gone now, destroyed in the flood.

There were piles and piles of large pads full of cartoons and comic strips I drew and also art from high school and college classes.

Yes, we had nude models in college for figure drawing. I guess we got used to it after the first couple of times.

It’s funny, but I remember this guy’s face from so many years ago. I know, he was naked, but it’s his face I remember. For some reason, it had a familiar look, almost like a famous person or so, so when I look at this I can almost remember him.

Here’s a more detailed figure. These nudes are from college, But one image from high school sticks out. We had to draw a pair of sneakers that were on the table and I remember doing that. I remember how happy I was with the results. I guess I’ll find that in the pile of art I now have.

Not sure who this is, but I don’t remember her being a model. Maybe it was from a book or magazine.

I saw this photo of the Obamas on my mother’s dresser. I don’t remember ever seeing it before.

When I picked it up and read it, I see she must have donated to them or his campaign or something. I was living out of the house by then so I guess I never saw this and she never mentioned it.

My mom loved the Obamas, so did my dad, I was happy to see that she kept the image along with family photos on/in the mirror like people do.

My mom gave to all sorts of charities, she always did. I’m glad to see she donated to political campaigns, too.

One sad thing about the way my parents passed away was that they left the house and didn’t come back in the end. And things are left as if they just walked out of the room.

This looks like my dad’s eyeglasses, just sitting on the side of the bed.

In the kitchen, next to the sink there is a towel and there are two spoons on it, looking as if they were washed and placed there to dry. Just like it was yesterday.

My dad used the dining room table as a desk. All of his papers are there – just as he left them. A pen sits on the pile, just as if he put it down and walked out of the room for a second.

All this reminds me of famous houses I’ve visited – the Roosevelts, Hemmingway, etc. Their personal papers and things were just sitting there, although they were probably set up and placed there. But it gives the illusion that they just walked out of the room for a second. In these cases at my parents’ house, they were really just left as I see them now.

I spoke to one of my brothers. We may start going through the house next weekend, to just start packing things up. We’ll do it as a group to make it go faster, I guess. We grew up up there. It won’t be easy.

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Buggy bugs

My Ollie And Jacomo cartoon which was published yesterday hit so close to home.

In Florida, while mosquitoes may be a problem, Palmetto Bugs are the worst. If you’ve never seen one, picture a large black roach, sometimes two inches long – that flies!

I’ve lived in Florida practically all my life, but I’ve never got over seeing one in my house. I remember years ago I practically destroyed my house like this cartoon, trying to kill one, which was climbing up the wall. I can picture it in my head now, crawling along a painting above the tv. I was getting ready to go out for the night, but I couldn’t leave until I got it, which eventually I did.

A couple of weeks ago I walked into the kitchen at night, turned on the light and there was a big, and I mean big, palmetto bug sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. I had the bug spray in my other room across the house, so I went running to get it before the bug disappeared and in the process, I slipped on the floor, put my hand out to steady myself and fell into the closet doors, which are now broken and need replacing!

I did get the bug in the end though. I bought this new eco friendly stuff that paralyzes the bugs but is safe for people and the environment.

It’s funny, when I’ve mentioned to people that I broke my closet doors by falling into them, they ask me if I tumbled into them because I was drunk.

I hadn’t seen a palmetto bug inside my house for over 10 years. Now every once in awhile one pops up, I don’t know what changed. I’ve taken to spraying once a month now under the stove and at entrances, sort of like an exterminator would.

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Getting her bearings

Cartoonist Liz Climo creates cartoons with animals doing cute things. This one stood out to me because it reminds me of my own mother. I think about her every day and I guess since yesterday was Mother’s Day, I really had her on my mind, but I do think of her every day and one instance similar to this cartoon always sticks out in my mind, and I don’t know why, because I have millions, maybe billions of memories of her.

I must have been 8 years old, maybe a bit older and it could have only happened a few times. It must have been summer because my brothers and I were all home from school. And during that summer, early in the morning, I would go into my mother’s room and wake her up. My father had already gone to work, and it was still quite early.

I would wake my mother up and she would roll over groggily and say, “Good morning, do you want breakfast?” And I would say “yes,” and she would sit at the edge of the bed and say, “Ok, just give me a minute, let me get my bearings.”

She never yelled, she never said, “Get out of here, I’m sleeping!” She woke up smiling and happy to see me and I always remember that. I always remember her saying the “get my bearings,” part.

I’m sure she yelled at me a thousand times in my life, but I only remember her being kind and happy.

I don’t know if it happened once, twice, 10 times or what, but that one summer memory is always in my mind and this Liz Climo cartoon really brought it rushing back.

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How not to sell a house (or condo)

I went to see what I thought was this amazing condo the other day, I wrote a little about it here.

I lived in the building years ago and loved that area and that building and I had a dream about it just out of the blue. And the next day I googled the address and a listing came up on Zillow. It was for this nice, large penthouse. And even though I lived in that building for 9 years, I didn’t realized this two story penthouse was there!

There are four penthouses and two are very large double-floor units, according to Zillow. I had been in the two smaller ones, which were the size of the rest of the units in the building, which were quite large, too.

Anyway, this unit that was for sale looked huge and was two floors and had a big kitchen, which I loved, even tough I don’t cook, and it had a huge terrace and had unobstructed views of east and south – downtown Miami and Coral Gables and I could keep going on and on. And the neighborhood is very quiet and quite convenient. It had everything going for it.

The price was a fraction of my current home, the monthly HOA/maintenance fees were much lower than my current ones and the city taxes were the same as I am paying now. it was a win, win, win.

So I excitedly went to see the place and for some reason I didn’t like it. For one thing – the photos on Zillow were exaggerated and made the place look huge, but in reality it had low ceilings and cramped walls and spaces. But thinking about it days later, I realized the reason I was not into it was that it had to much of the current owner in it and too much stuff. What I mean is I have seen enough real estate tv shows that say remove all personal things from the place, which was not the case here, and it made a difference, a negative one.

There was one of those stair lift seats which was a turn off for me and I noticed a walker in the corner, which was used by the owners late husband it was overloaded with furniture. There literally were two dining room tables just feet from each other, one in the kitchen and one in the dining room, but they were just about 10 feet apart, which really made the place seem cramped. The rest of the furniture was oversized and made the place look crowded.

There were photos of family all over the place and the dressers in the bedrooms reeked of old lady – full of so many things from a lifetime of living.

The kitchen was full of stuff all of the counters (it would have been best to put them away in the cabinets or draws) and there were two dishwashers which I guess are good for chefs, but seemed useless to me. They were different styles and were mismatched and old. And they were not near each other, they were separated. The dark wood in the low ceiling kitchen didn’t make it seem bright and open even though there was one full wall of windows.

There was a very large storage room that was part of the unit, a huge plus, which would have been best left empty to show all the space it had, but it was so crowded and full that you barely could walk inside to look around.

Things lay around on the big terrace outside, an unrolled up hose and other things just making it look messy. And so much more.

So this dream place ended up turning me off and probably others since on paper it looks like a steal and a palace, but in reality it turns you off once you enter; it’s been on the market for six months or more for that reason.

What could have been snapped up on the first week is just sitting there unsold due to the mess that they are trying to show to buyers. And even though I know all these things I mentioned above, I still can’t see myself living there, even though I know it would be a different animal if it was shown empty. It would show so much better with a couple of pieces of furniture and nothing else in the place and then I think people could picture themselves living there.

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